When we moved to San Diego last August, there was a dry brown vine sprawling over the fence of our backyard. Recently we were pleasantly surprised when it burst forth as a sweet smelling, beautiful flowering vine. Are there areas of yours or your child's life that you feel have run dry, stuck in an unsatisfactory pattern? My passion is to help those areas of your life fluorish and bloom as well. How? Through offering insight and different approaches in the areas of diet, supplementation and medicine, and activity. We will delve into each of those in coming posts, but today I want to start with a little self talk exercise.
Whatever we speak into our kids' lives, often we will see that play out. We joke about self-fulfilling prophecies. We read about the influence of the tongue in religious texts. The very powerful effects of our words have also been proven in plenty of scientific studies. A study posted eight days ago in the Journal of Child and Family Studies supported the hypothesis that "negative self-statements mediate social anxiety and depressive symptomatology in youth" aged 7-16 years. Just this month several studies including this one have been posted on the intricate relationship between mood, anxiety and working memory. That's right, the part of your child's memory that allows him to hold information in a readily-available state in the prefrontal cortex and use it to excel in the classroom and to make decisions including how to behave. I address concerns regarding behavior and mood with patients and their families every single day as a pediatrician. It's important! I have also referred patients for cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT involves understanding the thoughts that influence behaviors and modulating them and can treat not only psychiatric and psychologic disorders but also medical problems with a psychiatric component. DO try this at home!
With our own children, it is easy to generalize with such negative comments as "she doesn't listen!" "His behavior is terrible" "Don't you have a headache today, honey? You are always complaining of headaches!" My job as a pediatrician involves teasing out when complaints are caused by physical symptoms and the proper course of treatment to follow, but you see my point. We want to create with our words the best starting place for our children. Whenever I notice negative thought patterns during a patient interaction, I try to take an extra minute to speak positive words over the child. At times it brings parents and caretakers to tears because they realize how much of a negative pattern they have accepted and even helped perpetuate. Hearing those positive words brings hope and reminds them of how they dreamed parenting or caretaking would be. In my son's room, at bedtime, I see a peaceful, perfect smile wash over his face as I pray for him and speak positive words over him. So tonight, despite likely being tired and oh-so-ready for kids' bedtime so you can get things done, take a minute to speak positive words over your children. It's a win-win.
Examples of Positive Words to Speak Over Children:
_______ is strong.
_______ is healthy.
_______ obeys her parents.
_______ is a good friend.
_______ is special.
_______ is loved. (speak names of people who love him)
Comentários